A Bitter Pill
I have deliberately ignored my blog since March. Let’s just say I had a little bit of a wobble in the confidence department on about the twelfth of the month. I vowed I would get myself back on track and work really, really hard before coming back to the blog. Then, when I deemed I had done so I would publish the blog post I had written that day, safe in the knowledge that I had done my best. My thanks to Tracey Tyrrell, Debi Alper and everyone on the March 2013 Writer’s Workshop Self-Editing Course.
And here we are!
(Written on twelfth March 2013)
I have learned something today.
I have learned something today.
(this is me being positive by the way)
A month ago I commissioned a thorough editorial editorial critique for my first novel ‘Hard Hat and Heels.’*
The report appeared in my inbox earlier. The opening line was positive and I settled down into my chair with a warm smile on my face.The smile wasn’t there for long.
Fast forward half an hour and I was sobbing openly into the dog’s fur, a pile of used tissues at my side and my mascara somewhere at chin level.
This self-indulgent, excessively emotional behaviour was curtailed, much to the dogs relief, when I heard the high pitched sound of the dustbin lorry reversing towards the house. I dragged the two bins to the bottom of the drive into the waiting arms of the bin man. I gave him a look which clearly said ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ and ran back into the house. To give him his due, his face didn’t even register shock. Perhaps I always look this bad.
I tried to return to my crying session on the dog, but she wouldn’t have me. I sat back down in front of my laptop instead and re-read the twenty-seven page report.
I had heard all the advice from other writers and blogs and seminars. I knew you had to be thick skinned and it wasn’t easy etc etc. But when it actually happens, it’s a bitter pill to swallow.
And this is when I learned something about myself:
No matter how hard it is, how crushing it is to hear criticism, I still want to write.
I am an aspiring author. Publication date may be some way off, but it’s there.
As a good friend and fellow aspiring author told me in my hour of despair:
‘Writing is a journey and I’m on the journey.’
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